Off to Chicago for New Year's

I am leaving in the moring with a car full of ladies to celebrate New Year's in Chicago. I have no idea what we will do there but whatev.... something like drinking and shopping I suppose. My ride comes at 8am.

I'll be back on Monday with fotos to share.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year...

I know that 2007 will a great year for all.... (especially me!! wink. wink)!!

Mando saludos a todos. Feliz Ano Nuevo.

Besos.

A Sad Day in Suburbia...

It is sad when the police are not fighting crime... instead they are sitting in their police car controlling the stop lights with the strobe flasher to ensure that the green lights are long enough for the shoppers going from Target to the grocery store across the street and vice-versa. Imagine a perfect place (ha ha haa) where there is no crime and this is what the police are payed the big bucks to do.

Suburbia is really starting to scare... as the soccer moms get vicious during the holidays.... also a lot of men decide (reluctantly) to go to the malls, where they do not know the proper traffic laws and start cutting people off, plowing thru. red lights, going the wrong way down the isles... it is quite frustrating.... AND of course you are the one doing the wrong things. Yeah right!!

Ok... off to brave to crowds... I have to run some errands.

Chau!!

I'm Finally on Vacation...

I am freeeeeeeee until Jan 2.
I don't have many plans. Just to get oranized and relax.
I am going to Chicago on the 30th, for two nights.... that's about as exciting as it gets.

Haciendo Completamente Nada...

Terminé mis clases jueves. Tengo q trabajar esta semana... bueno, lunes a jueves. El viernes tengo una cita cortar mi pelo... va a ser 1 o 2 pulgadas nada mas.... todos saben q tengo miedo cortar mas. Y el sábado, tengo q tomar examenes para mi maestría... toda la mañana.

Hoy no estoy haciendo nada... fui al gimnasio por la mañana. A las 5pm, tengo una cita con alguien q quiere clases de español. Después... creo (si, tengo fuerza) voy a ir a gimnasio otra vez.

Mi hermano llamó hace cinco minutos... el estaba aburrido en Washington.... entonces cambio su vuelo. Viene hoy a las 9:20pm, en vez de miércoles.

Estuve pensando leer un libro. Normalmente leo mucho, pero son libros q eligieron mis profesores... ahora voy a tener tiempo leer unos libros q compre y no he leído todavía.

Bueno... mando besos y abrazos a todos.

CHAU!!

Small World

Yesterday, at the holiday party for one of my jobs... I started talking to a girl that was talking about shipping stuff to Argentina.

So, check this...

She is moving to Argentina.
She is married to a guy from Resistencia. (where I lived)
He is my age and I know his families business in the city.
She was an AFSer... to Finland... but same year, same departure.
She also has worked in the AFS office here and know alot of the same people I do.

CRAZY.



Today... instead of buying new shoes I found the cutest shirt ever. I bought it and will take a pic soon....

Two weeks until we go to Chicago for New Year's.
Less than six weeks until Rep. Dom.
I'm excited!

I'm Dooooooooooonnnnneeeee....

I survived my semester... well, at least I finished all the tasks, projects, papers and lesson plans. Whether my grades will reflect my work that is not known yet.

What is new? Nothing much. I have clean everything now... neglecting it for more than a week has made things disgusting.

I have a semi-busy week next week and then just about nothing for a week.

I have started tutoring... el chileno en ingles and a hs student in Spanish. I have a few more that want lessons in the new year.

Today... I'm going to relax buy some new talcos.... AND WORK out.... less than 6 weekks until my hot bod has to make appearences at beaches on a tropical island en el caribe. ;)

BESOTES A TODOS!!!! Chaucito.

Avoidance Tactics...

Eat
Watch TV
Make Lists of What I Need To Do
Think about What I Need To Do
Pluck Eyebrows
Read Magazines
Talk on Phone
Chat with People on MSN
Emaling

Just a few of the avoidance tactics I have used tonight.

So, let's see... it's 10:39pm... I have done about 8% of every thing I have to do by about 7am.... But I'm surprisingly relaxed and feel no reason to hurry.

I still have pleanty of time..... ;)


BTW... yes, I am officially insane... if you had any doubt.

47 Hours to go...

and I am about to go to sleep... for the next 7-8 hours. I need to sleep so, I can be productive tomorrow... when semi-all-nighter-number-two of the week begins.

Ok... no more thinking about being productive. It just makes me exhausted thinking about it.

And now I just remember I have to evaluate a whole bunch of 1st graders Spanish skills... by Friday, 11am. Yikes.... and I have no idea where I put the folder with evals. I will worry about that 8am.... Friday!! ;)

To sleepy, sleepy I go.

Numb

I am numb and just trying to make it thru. they next 60 hours....

I slept only 2 hours last night... actually I am not sure if I slept because I get nervous that I will sleep thru. my alarm....

I finished my urban field placement finally... thou. I'm pissed that he said that I'm often late. But I should not feel too bad about it as I look at the source that the critical words came from. I should not pass the blame, but I did receive the field placement 7 weeks after I was supposed and had to create a whole new schedule, take days off, drive around like a crazy lady to get stuff done.

Now... I am not done with what I need done for 5:30pm... but I have to go visit some Spanish classes that I am covering for a co-worker next week in a little bit.

I'm about to loose it... oh, and a whole but of people want private Spanish, ESL and Language Arts lessons like this week... now.. and I do not want to lose these potential clients.... but I really cannot take anything more on until Friday.

God, please give me the strength I need to get thru. this...

Self-Sabotage: A Reoccuring Theme

Self-sabotage is what I do. I've been doing it for years.... probably since I was 10 or 12. I don't really know why I do it. Out of fear most likely.

My self-sabotage when it comes to this moment involves my studies and projects. I didn't do what I was supposed this weekend. Well.... I only did one-half of what I was supposed to do. And now... I am hurriedly trying to throw together a big project that is due tomorrow night. Now, I think part of the reason that I do this is because it does not interest me. I know that I can do a half-assed job and get an A- or B+ and that is perfectly fine with me... I have never been a perfectionist.

Self-sabotage has been a major theme of my academic life and occasionally my personal life. I also need major work on my time management skills.... and/or motivating myself to do things with more than 24 hours to spare. Maybe I get a thrill of waiting until the last min.... seeing how far I can walk that fine line of recklessness without actually crossing it and failing miserably.

I guess I need to learn more from my mistakes and stop repeating them.

Chau!

Grrrrrrrr....

I went to see the apt... decided to move in and then decided against it. (Sorry L!)

I have a weird rash on the back of my neck.

I finished my linguistics final... though I gave up on one of the exercises when I could not figure it out for several hours.

Now I am working on a literacy 'strategy log' that is due Tuesday. My professor for this class is so annoying and treats us like kindergartners. And he thinks that his 2 credits class is apparently worth four because I am doing a shit load of work for it.

There are many more things I would like to complain about but I don't have time....

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....

Boring Weekend...

I am studying this weekend. Working on final projects and exams. Nothing exciting just time consuming.

Yesterday, I met with a Chilean boy that I am going to start tutoring in English. He is an AFSer and having some difficulties with second language acquisition.... and needs to reduce his accent.... or so he says. ;)

Today... I continue studying. I am actually taking my studying on the road. This is so ensure that I will actually do it. I am very easily distracted in my home environment.

I am going to check out an apartment today. I am pretty sure I will take it... good price and location in Minneapolis. I will let you know of that decision later. I am having trouble making a decision as there are lots of unsure, unfinished things in my life right now and I do not know if moving is the right answer at the moment. But I do need change... and this might be just the thing I need.

Ok... I'm off.

Chaucito... y besotes a todos!

14 Bajo Cero

Hace MUCHO frio.... 14 bajo cero hoy. :(

Necesito mudar a un lugar donde hace calor porq no puedo agunatar esta termperatura mas.

8 More Days...

I need to just get thru the next 8 days... 9pm on the 14th I can finally relax. Before than I have to do about 2 million things... and really work on not procrastinating or things are going to get hellish.

8 more days...8 more days.... 8 more days.... 8 more days.........

Here.... wishing I was in the most perfect place I know

Mi Mente

Hay tantas ideas en mi cabeza. Ideas, pensamientos, sentimientos y temas cambiando cada segundo. A veces las mismas cosas; pero por poco tiempo. Hay tantas posibilidades. Nunca tengo una idea fija. Ninguna meta fija. No. No es posible. Todo cambiando. Quiero hacer tanto y poco en el mismo momento.


Cada momento nuevo.... así es vivir dentro de mi mente.

Why will you Settle?

People settle for different reasons. I mean commit to someone, via marriage. Though the common reason is 'true love,' I really must question that. In the past few months I have seen people settle for various reasons. One for age. How old will you get before you just can't wait anymore? Will you just settle for who you are with at the time for the hell of it? For fear that you have waited too long and the perfect man won't come along? And truthfully know that he is not the one. It there that 'one'?? Or are there many? Who is right? Is there such thing as a soul mate? Others seem to settle for convenience. It seems right at the time... or semi-right... and they just seem to go with it. Live in the moment, why not? You can always get out of it later, right? Others fear being alone. They are willing to stay with with someone, anyone. Just to avoid themselves. There are many of these people... who have never been alone.... since a very young age. Others never seem to settle. They fear commitment or themselves. Perhaps, the sanctity of a committed relationship. Can it really work? These people avoid a settling down for a long time or never do. Constantly running. Too critical. Afraid of failure?


So, why will you settle? For 'true love'? 'Old' age? Convenience? Money? Fear? The 'One'?

I Need to Talk to Someone.

Someone in particular.

My horoscope told me not to.

What to do? What to do?

Quede confundida otra vez?!?!

Reality

It is hard to believe that every person's reality is so different. To know that people who live only 15 short miles away from you have a totally different reality. I have lived in third world countries and come to realize their reality, daily life, reaction and ways are much different than mine. But 15 short miles away from my home is like visiting a whole different world.

A reality that involves violence, death, drugs, generational poverty, gangs, pregnancy, rape, abuse, runaways, murder, hunger, disease, lack of education, lack of understanding, anger, resiliency and basic survival. Where on a daily basis a 16 and 17 year olds have to make a conscious decision. Actually a lot of decisions... that I was never forced to make at that age. So many decisions that they should not have to be making at this age. Decisions that scare me.

What makes me mad is the people from my reality. The people that do not understand nor care to understand. They just pass the blame on the families, the schools and the communities. When the blame should really be put on their shoulders. As a member of society and a member of this city; I feel the responsibility to help, to do something.

People who really do not care. People who are stuck in their content white reality need to wake up. Some day these realities will colide and maybe not in a favorable manner if nothing is done to improve their reality today.

The people from my reality are quick to critically judge the people from the other reality... but not offer help, alternatives, ideas. This is maddening. Whether black, white, brown, yellow, purple or blue; you deserve an opportunity in this country. You deserve an opportunity to succeed. An opportunity to improve your reality, your life experience. You should not be stepped on. Forgotten. Left alone to destroy yourself or others.

Maybe I'm naive and young. But I want to make a difference. I want to give them that chance they deserve. The chance I was given. Education is a right. I believe that as a society we should not make excuses but try to fix the problem. It will take many years but we have time. The problem is getting bigger not smaller. Their reality will only get worse over time.

I know I will do what I can. After spending time there I see the hope in their eyes, the enjoyment the feel, the success they can obtain in one short hour. A safe hour where most are taken out of their reality and are in a safe place whether it is to learn or just be.

So, as I sit in my safe, warm, stable reality. I can't help but wonder what people are facing in a this evening 15 miles away. What decisions are they making that are going to affect the rest of their weekend, week or possibly life?

Noviembre Sin Ti

La tarde se aleja,
el cielo esta gris
la noche aparece sin ti,
callado en la playa
te lloro en silencio otra vez
Me ahoga esta pena
no puedo vivir
las olas no me hablan de ti
sentado en la arena
escribo tu nombre otra vez

Por que te extrano
desde aquel Noviembre
cuando sonamos juntos
a querernos siempreme duele,
este frio Noviembre
cuando las ojas
cain a morir por siempre..

[Estribillo:]
Noviembre sin ti
es sentir que la lluvia
me dice llorando que todo acabo
Noviembre sin ti
es pedirle a la luna
que brille en la noche de mi corazon
otra vezz.. otra vez..

Quisiera decirte que quiero volver
tu nombre va escrito en mi piel
ya es de madrugada
te sigo esperando otra vez
por que te extrano desde aquel Noviembre
cuando sonamos juntosa querernos siempre
me duele, este frio Noviembre
cuando las ojas caina morir por siempre

Estribillo 2x]

Noviembre Sin Ti por Reik